


Zuko and I Love You's

by IAmAllYetNotAtAll



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Iroh has PTSD, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, Zuko and his family - Freeform, Zuko says "I love you", Zuko's relationship with his family, from childhood to post-war a bit, is briefly touched upon, zuko character study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:47:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25369330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmAllYetNotAtAll/pseuds/IAmAllYetNotAtAll
Summary: A Zuko character study - his relationship with the words "I love you" and Love in general in relation to his family members.Canon compliant for ATLA with a bit of added backstory to certain characters/situations.
Relationships: Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Azulon & Zuko (Avatar), Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Lu Ten & Zuko, Ozai & Zuko (Avatar), Ursa & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 178





	Zuko and I Love You's

**Author's Note:**

> Heeey :)
> 
> My first foray into the ATLA universe and it's a character study for Zuko, because why not. A sort of study of his relationship with various family members.
> 
> I only watched ATLA (No LOK or comics), so this is only as canon as the show, though I've seen a few things floating around so slightly inspired by comic stuff.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy <3

**-x- Ursa -x-**

He's born nearly three months early.

The healers say he'll be lucky to survive until morning. His father tells his mother to get rid of him already; born so weak he'll never grow strong. His grandfather hardly bats an eye at the news. His uncle and cousin light a candle for him in their corner of the palace.

His mother protests against his father's request and he leaves, assuming the child will die on its own. She holds him to her bare chest for hours, letting her heat seep into the cold newborn.

She prays to Agni for more time. She hopes for more than that. She whispers to her son.

"I love you, my darling. I'll be right here until you're better, I promise."

She wraps her robes and blankets around the two of them and lays back in her bed, head tilted to the window to stare at the moon. She sends a prayer to Tui, too, just in case.

She hadn't fallen asleep after the sudden birth and she doesn't now. There is no place for fatigue when adrenaline keeps her wide awake. Her son needs her more than her body needs rest.

When the moon sets and the sun rises, his body instantly warms against hers. No matter how Ozai might refuse it, their son is a firebender, she's sure of it.

"Stay alive, Prince Zuko. Stay alive and prove them wrong."

He survives.

The healers call it a miracle. His father sneers and claims the boy will be too weak to be of any use. His grandfather makes the effort to remember his name but doesn't bother to check in himself. His uncle and cousin come to visit once he's deemed healthy enough for it and share in her joy.

**\---**

She whispers it at night over the years. After reading him a bedtime story and brushing away his bangs to kiss his forehead, she'll say, "I love you, Zuko."

She'll never say it in front of his father. He doesn't notice this until he's older; until he's already lost her. She always does what she can to not make him appear weak in front of his father, though there's no point to it. He'll never be enough. He will always be weak.

As he grows up, she stops putting him to bed and those soft words are heard less and less often.

The night she leaves, she only says, "Zuko, please, my love, listen to me. Everything I've done, I've done to protect you." And, "Remember this, Zuko. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are."

But she is the reason he knows the words at all.

He loves her, indefinitely, infinitely. 

**-x- Ozai -x-**

He'd be surprised if his father had ever uttered the words, "I love you" to anyone in his life. Even when he was a child, when his big brother cared for him and his own mother had been alive. Zuko can't imagine his father being any sort of caring, or loving, or kind person.

For Ozai, love is weakness. End of story.

After his banishment, he'd told himself he needed to do what he was told to regain his honour, and in doing so, regain his father's love. It took too long to realize he'd never had it at all and he was only chasing dreams.

Older and more mature, he goes to his father's cell and hates himself for the pang in his chest at the hate-filled gaze that meets his. It's never been anything else, it'll never be anything different. The yearning has lessened from what it used to be, and it'll fade as the years pass, but it'll never fade completely.

He hates it, but a small part of him will always love his father.

**-x- Lu Ten -x-**

"Hi, little cousin."

Lu Ten holds his one-day-old cousin in his arms for the very first time and stares down in wonder at the too-small child with rosy cheeks and golden eyes.

His visits aren't very long; his auntie and cousin are both in need of rest after the difficult birth, but he comes by as often as his father will bring him. He's ecstatic for another child in the family.

The newborn spittles and Lu Ten giggles at the sight.

**\---**

His father takes them to Ember Island on vacation a couple of years later, while Aunt Ursa is too pregnant to travel and Uncle Ozai doesn't bother with an excuse. They play in the sand for hours, building castles and destroying them. They splash each other at the edge of the ocean as Zuko's still too young to swim.

He drags his little cousin all over the island and his exasperated father follows with mild protests. His father has to carry Zuko home and Lu Ten holds tiredly to his robes to follow along as his eyes flutter with fatigue. He serves them tea once they make it back home and then tucks them both into bed.

Zuko wakes in the middle of the night and goes to find his cousin. He's quieter than most two-year-olds must be because it kind of freaks out a thirteen-year-old Lu Ten. He gets into the room and under the covers before he even wakes up. Lu Ten turns to his cousin and gives a gentle squeeze to his upper arm.

"You okay, Zuko?"

"Mhm."

Zuko's instantly back to sleep and Lu Ten sighs. He reaches out to tuck the covers around him and then pats his head affectionately.

"Love you too, Zuko," he jokes. 

Zuko is too young to remember any of this, of course, but he remembers the casual way his cousin would say the words. But, much like his mother, only in private. Sentiment does not befit the third in line for the title of Fire Lord.

**\---**

He's headed to war, to join his father on the siege of Ba Sing Se, and gives him a tight hug. They both know he won't be back home any time soon.

"I love you, little cousin. Take care of yourself and Azula while I'm gone. I'll be home once Ba Sing Se is conquered."

Ba Sing Se is never conquered and his cousin doesn't come home.

He gives his Uncle privacy on the anniversary of his death every year, but wherever he is, he lights a candle for him and remembers the happy times.

He didn't have a lot of time with his older cousin, but he will always love him and the memories he's left behind.

**-x- Azulon -x-**

His grandfather doesn't love anybody; he's as willing to sacrifice Zuko's life as Ozai is.

He hardly even thought of him as 'grandfather'; he's the Fire Lord.

There's only fear after his passing. His mother is gone, his father is suddenly Fire Lord, and Zuko is now Crown Prince and he has no time to mourn a man he barely knows.

When he thinks of Azulon, there's nothing akin to love there.

**-x- Azula -x-**

Zuko loves when his mother reads theatre scrolls to him, easily enamoured by the hero's journey and true love and adventure and friendship. He knows he loves his mother and father and Uncle Iroh and his cousin Lu Ten. He always thinks he'll fall in love when he's older, like the boys and girls in the scrolls, when he's ready for _romance_.

That is, apparently, not the case and he learns this at two-years-old.

He sits next to his mother on her bed and she places a little red bundle of blankets into his arms. He holds it as his mother instructs and stares down into the soft face of his newborn baby sister.

He doesn't know that his father has already visited. Azula is born at high noon on the hottest day of the summer; his father has no doubts about her promise, unlike his son.

No. All he knows is this moment.

His mother is bleary-eyed beside him and rests back with one arm around his shoulders to keep him tucked into her side. His baby sister has big gold eyes and she stares at him with her mouth open. Her hand hovers in the air and he reaches out to grasp it. She takes a solid hold of his index finger and his smile is bright and happy.

And he knows this is _in love_ , just not the way the scrolls depict it.

Zuko would set the whole world on fire if his sister asked it of him. He hasn't started firebending yet, but he'll learn just for her. He'll steal oil and a match, if he must. There is nothing that will stand between him and his sister's safety so long as he breathes.

In this moment, she belongs to him, and he belongs to her.

"Hey, Azula. I'm your big brother Zuko. It's nice to finally meet you. I love you already. I hope we can play soon."

His mother pets his hair and the three fall asleep curled together until she wakes them with a cry that seems loud enough to split the earth.

**\---**

It doesn't stay so simple for very long at all, but the feeling never fades completely. 

It gets buried under annoyance.

"Come on, Zuzu, play with us!"

He doesn't want to play with his annoying sister and her stupid friends.

It gets shoved aside by jealousy.

"Zuzu! I made my first flame today, isn't that great?"

"Yeah, 'Zula, that's amazing!" He offers even if he feels cold inside. It's not her fault he's weak.

And sometimes he abandons love for what he wants to be hatred, though it never sticks as well as Azula's for him and the world they'd both been forced to grow in.

"Father's going to kill you," she singsongs in his doorway.

_Azula always lies, Azula always lies..._ He mantras until the rage and fear in his chest simmer down. Why can't she ever _care_ about anything?

"Oh, Zuzu, never could mind your temper, could you?" she whispers. She brushes back his hair, what's left of it, in an almost loving gesture if he didn't know her better. They're alone, and that's the only reason she indulges in the casual touch. Uncle will be by in minutes to take him away to the ship; the Fire Lord hadn't given him a lot of time to heal before tossing him out.

He wonders, in a dazed drugged state (the drugs the only thing keeping him alive at this point), that this might be her showing actual love. There's a dark, ugly, feeling curling in his chest and he thinks that he might hate her because he's the one with half his face burnt off and she'll never suffer under their father's hand the same way.

He thinks Azula is perfect; Zuko has only ever tried to catch up.

**\---**

After the war, he has a crown on his head and his sister is put in Caledra's finest psychiatric hospital to be treated.

For the first few weeks, they try various medicinal treatments, most of them leaving her confused. He'll sit by her side and she looks at him but her eyes are unfocused. There's no anger in her expression and he's not sure that it's better, necessarily. He's grown used to her maliciousness and the mask she normally wears to cover anything she might be feeling.

He sets an extra blanket around her shoulders and presses a gentle kiss to her temple. Ozai did his best to hurt his baby sister, but she's still young. They can fix this; they can have a future.

"I love you, 'Zula," he says.

Her response should be a derisive laugh at his show of emotion, or perhaps even anger if the words are taken as pity. Maybe even annoyance; she should roll her eyes and pretend she hasn't heard him. She should turn away from him, or withdraw from his touch, or even set her hand on fire and reach for him not necessarily with intent to harm, but at least to prove her point.

But, no.

Her head falls against his shoulder. The healers give him updates on what exactly they're giving her, but he only knows so much. Whatever this is, it's too strong. She's hardly even human anymore, let alone Azula. The Northern Water Tribe is sending healers, he must be patient, but he hates seeing her like this.

"Love you, Zuzu," she says, though it's mostly a slur. He struggles to make out what she's actually saying.

His arms wrap more firmly around her. It should make him happy, but he feels cold. It's not like Azula to share something like that so easily. Maybe she means it, he'd like to think so, but she's not saying it willingly.

"You'll get better, Azula, I promise." Her eyes flutter tiredly. "I love you so much."

His sister only hums.

**-x- Iroh -x-**

There's something to be said about the efficiency of the way Azulon raised his sons; that darkness took root in a way that's near impossible to shake. Ozai, of course, never tried to shake it off. He basked in that darkness, bathed in blood and anger and hatred and nearly destroyed the entire world for it.

Iroh _tries_ desperately to overcome it.

His father's straight-edged upbringing, the rough discipline, the coldness from both his parents; that can't be so easily erased. All the light feelings in his chest, the kindness and love and sympathy are shoved down until he can hardly remember their warmth.

He knows those feelings are there, but so many years told to pretend they don't exist have taken their toll.

Soldiers die left, right, and center. He dodges a strike, but the lieutenant at his right is not so lucky. He orders a team to march and only half of them come back. He shifts rubble and finds scorched bodies; men, women, children, only the bones can tell the truth now.

Cold washes over him and he hardens over time.

This is his family's war and he must follow in their steps as his father commands. He climbs the ranks and earns his father's pride and his little brother grows more distant. He is a hero in the Fire Nation and he is proud of it.

Then he takes a wife, of his father's choosing of course, but he would admit to being fond of her. She is quiet and distant, in the way of Fire Nation nobility, but she smiles and is a formidable pai sho opponent and he finds in her a companion. He likes to think the feeling is mutual.

He has been at war so long that when he returns his nights are plagued with nightmares. She is the only one who knows this. She sits by his side, runs her fingers through his hair, and up and down his back until his breathing evens. She doesn't judge him for it, and he thinks, maybe, he might love her.

She gives her life for their son's, and the little boy becomes his entire universe.

Over the next sixteen years, he divides his time between fatherhood and being a General. A year at home, six months abroad, two years at home, another six months abroad... 

He is truly content. 

Lu Ten is a good son, and he is not hard on him the way his own father had been to him. He well and truly loves his son. Then his nephew is born, and that love grows. And then a niece and his world continues to expand.

**\---**

Zuko learns about these years before his birth from his Uncle, through games of pai sho and while sitting side by side drinking tea in the palace gardens. As an angry teenager, he'd never cared for stories, but as Fire Lord, he revels in them. There are so few moments of peace anymore, and his Uncle is his greatest source of it lately. Even seeing his friends usually means more work.

From his earliest memory, Iroh had always been his kind, jovial Uncle with an easy laugh and horrible jokes and a heart full of love.

Through their travels, he's of course seen his Uncle use subterfuge to get them where they needed to be or use his commanding General voice and techniques to win them battles, but somehow, he's still startled to find that as much as he and Azula suffered under Ozai, his Uncle and father had suffered under Azulon.

Love had never come easy for him, he learns, when to Zuko it had always seemed like a never-ending resource available to him even when he'd least wanted it.

He remembers Azula running her hand through his hair, while he'd been delirious with pain and drugs right after his fateful Agni Kai, and it also sort of clicks into place.

_"I think of you as my own..."_

_"And put your hood up. Keep your ears warm!"_

_"I was never angry with you. I was sad because I was afraid you had lost your way."_

A gentle nudge here in the right direction, a guiding hand when he'd been trapped in his rage, way more proverbs than a single person should ever be forced to hear in a lifetime, and undeserved kindness.

His Uncle has never actually said, "I love you". Not during his childhood and certainly not during his angry teen years when that would have been the last thing he wanted to hear. It's an actual revelation when he realizes this because he'd never doubted that his Uncle did, indeed, love him very much. The love was always there in his actions and advice, just never expressed as simply as three words.

While Iroh had struggled to remove the barriers his father had placed during his youth, and speaking frankly about his own feelings felt like tearing into his chest and exposing his most vulnerable parts, he had allowed that love to flow out in the ways he knew how. And in ways his nephew would accept.

It is Zuko, who wraps his arms around his Uncle in the back of his tea shop long after the war is won, and says, "I know I spent a lot of years being ungrateful, but I can't tell you how much it meant to me that you came with me all those years ago. You were by my side no matter how much I tried to push you away, and I just... I can't thank you enough for all of it. I love you, Uncle, so very much."

Iroh returns the hug without any hesitation, but his silence stretches on. Zuko can feel the slight tremble in his hands, clasping the back of his robes. After a moment, Iroh inhales deeply and steps out of the hug.

His Uncle is crying, but his smile is as wide as ever. His hands move up to cup Zuko's cheeks, and he says, "Oh, my sweet nephew. You allowing me to be a part of your life is all the thanks I will ever need. And I love you, Zuko, more than anything else in this world and the next. _Always_."

Zuko only nods, his own eyes beginning to prickle with tears, and he throws his arms around his Uncle for a second time.

It gets much easier expressing the sentiment from then on, for both of them.

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to hear your thoughts!
> 
> This is sort of pre-redemption Azula, which I like to pretend occurs at some point after the show. She deserves so much more! I know it ends sort of sad here, but in my HC she gets better treatment and finally gets to exist as her own person outside of Ozai's shadow :) 
> 
> Also, it was fun writing about Iroh pre-show a bit. It's interesting to think about how he went from war General to stopping the war and how his views changed, but also the effect the war had on him.
> 
> I am slightly considering doing this with Zuko's relationship to the Gaang, though I don't have as much inspiration as I did for this piece, but throwing into the void in case someone else wants to write it or I get motivated to do it myself eventually.
> 
> Cheers <3


End file.
